Friday, February 17, 2017

Ranking Every Movie of 2016 (all 108 of them)

Much like these two, we watched a lot of movies last year
Following up on yesterday’s top 10, it’s time for the Manifesto’s silly annual tradition of ranking every movie we watched in the past year. This is an undeniably foolish exercise, but it’s useful as a recordkeeping function. Plus, it makes people angry, which is always fun.

Click on the hyperlinks to read my review for a particular movie. Per usual, for each film, I’m parenthetically adding the director’s name, as well as its Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic scores; both of those metrics are deeply problematic, but they do tend to reveal whether I conform to or diverge from the critical consensus. In addition, as a new feature this year, I’m noting if each movie listed is currently streaming on Netflix, Amazon Prime, HBO Go, or Hulu. So, even if you’re one of those worthless oafs who never goes to the theater anymore, this list can still provide you with some helpful viewing recommendations, free of charge.

That’s about it. Here are the Manifesto’s rankings of every movie we watched in 2016 (with the unfortunate caveat that I’ve still yet to see Toni Erdmann):


1. La La Land (directed by Damien Chazelle, 93% Rotten Tomatoes, 93 Metacritic)
2. The Handmaiden (Park Chan-wook, 92% RT, 84 MC)
3. Hell or High Water (David Mackenzie, 98% RT, 88 MC)
4. The Lobster (Yorgos Lanthimos, 89% RT, 82 MC; currently streaming on Amazon Prime)
5. Manchester by the Sea (Kenneth Lonergan, 96% RT, 96 MC)
6. Arrival (Denis Villeneuve, 94% RT, 81 MC)
7. 10 Cloverfield Lane (Dan Trachtenberg, 90% RT, 76 MC)
8. Kubo and the Two Strings (Travis Knight, 97% RT, 84 MC)
9. Moonlight (Barry Jenkins, 98% RT, 99 MC)
10. The Witch (Robert Eggers, 91% RT, 83 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
11. Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier, 90% RT, 79 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
12. Everybody Wants Some!! (Richard Linklater, 86% RT, 83 MC)
13. Captain America: Civil War (Anthony and Joe Russo, 90% RT, 75 MC; streaming on Netflix)
14. Hacksaw Ridge (Mel Gibson, 86% RT, 71 MC)
15. Sunset Song (Terence Davies, 81% RT, 72 MC; streaming on Netflix)
16. Star Trek Beyond (Justin Lin, 84% RT, 68 MC)
17. Zootopia (Byron Howard and Rich Moore, 98% RT, 78 MC; streaming on Netflix)
18. Allied (Robert Zemeckis, 61% RT, 60 MC)
19. The Edge of Seventeen (Kelly Fremon Craig, 95% RT, 77 MC)
20. American Honey (Andrea Arnold, 79% RT, 79 MC)
21. Love & Friendship (Whit Stillman, 98% RT, 87 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
22. The Nice Guys (Shane Black, 92% RT, 70 MC; streaming on HBO Go)
23. Fences (Denzel Washington, 93% RT, 79 MC)
24. Don’t Breathe (Fede Alvarez, 87% RT, 71 MC)
25. Elle (Paul Verhoeven, 89% RT, 89 MC)
26. Certain Women (Kelly Reichardt, 90% RT, 81 MC)
27. Passengers (Morten Tyldum, 31% RT, 41 MC)
28. The Shallows (Jaume Collet-Serra, 78% RT, 59 MC)
29. The Invitation (Karyn Kusama, 89% RT, 74 MC; streaming on Netflix)
30. Sing Street (John Carney, 96% RT, 79 MC; streaming on Netflix)
31. The Salesman (Asghar Farhadi, 98% RT, 86 MC)
32. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Gareth Edwards, 85% RT, 65 MC)
33. Moana (Ron Clements and John Musker, 95% RT, 81 MC)
34. Confirmation (Rick Famuyiwa, 80% RT, 65 MC; streaming on HBO Go)
35. 20th Century Women (Mike Mills, 89% RT, 83 MC)
36. Free State of Jones (Gary Ross, 47% RT, 53 MC)
37. Hail, Caesar! (Joel and Ethan Coen, 86% RT, 72 MC; streaming on HBO Go)
38. Blood Father (Jean-François Richet, 89% RT, 66 MC)
39. Swiss Army Man (Daniel Scheinert and Daniel Kwan, 69% RT, 64 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
40. The Measure of a Man (Stéphane Brizé, 91% RT, 74 MC; streaming on Netflix)
41. Hidden Figures (Theodore Melfi, 92% RT, 74 MC)
42. Doctor Strange (Scott Derrickson, 90% RT, 72 MC)
43. Indignation (James Schamus, 82% RT, 78 MC)
44. Our Little Sister (Hirokazu Koreeda, 93% RT, 75 MC)
45. Loving (Jeff Nichols, 89% RT, 79 MC)
46. The Girl on the Train (Tate Taylor, 43% RT, 48 MC)
47. Morris from America (Chad Hartigan, 89% RT, 75 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
48. Don’t Think Twice (Mike Birbiglia, 99% RT, 83 MC)
49. Finding Dory (Andrew Stanton and Angus MacLane, 94% RT, 77 MC; streaming on Netflix)
50. Triple 9 (John Hillcoat, 53% RT, 52 MC; streaming on Showtime Anytime)
51. Captain Fantastic (Matt Ross, 83% RT, 72 MC)
52. The BFG (Steven Spielberg, 75% RT, 66 MC)
53. Emelie (Michael Thelin, 90% RT, 62 MC)
54. O.J.: Made in America (Ezra Edelman, 100% RT, 96 MC)
55. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (David Yates, 73% RT, 66 MC)
56. A Monster Calls (J.A. Bayona, 87% RT, 76 MC)
57. Paterson (Jim Jarmusch, 96% RT, 90 MC)
58. Hunt for the Wilderpeople (Taika Waititi, 97% RT, 81 MC; streaming on Hulu)
59. My Golden Days (Arnaud Desplechin, 89% RT, 87 MC; streaming on Netflix)
60. Sausage Party (Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon, 83% RT, 66 MC)
61. Jackie (Pablo Larraín, 89% RT, 81 MC)
62. The Light Between Oceans (Derek Cianfrance, 59% RT, 60 MC)
63. Ghostbusters (Paul Feig, 73% RT, 60 MC)
64. The Infiltrator (Brad Furman, 69% RT, 66 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
65. The Conjuring 2 (James Wan, 80% RT, 65 MC)
66. The Birth of a Nation (Nate Parker, 71% RT, 69 MC)
67. Nocturnal Animals (Tom Ford, 73% RT, 67 MC)
68. Florence Foster Jenkins (Stephen Frears, 87% RT, 71 MC)
69. Imperium (Daniel Ragussis, 83% RT, 68 MC)
70. Goat (Andrew Neel, 77% RT, 64 MC)
71. Lion (Garth Davis, 86% RT, 69 MC)
72. A Monster with a Thousand Heads (Rodrigo Plá, 91% RT, 71 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
73. Me Before You (Thea Sharrock, 58% RT, 51 MC)
74. Midnight Special (Jeff Nichols, 83% RT, 76 MC; streaming on HBO Go)
75. The Accountant (Gavin O’Connor, 51% RT, 51 MC)
76. Café Society (Woody Allen, 70% RT, 64 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
77. Nerve (Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost, 66% RT, 58 MC)
78. Disorder (Alice Winocour, 73% RT, 66 MC; streaming on Netflix)
79. A Bigger Splash (Luca Guadagnino, 89% RT, 74 MC; streaming on HBO Go)
80. Things to Come (Mia Hansen-Løve, 100% RT, 88 MC)
81. Deadpool (Tim Miller, 84% RT, 65 MC; streaming on HBO Go)
82. The Jungle Book (Jon Favreau, 95% RT, 77 MC; streaming on Netflix)
83. Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk (Ang Lee, 45% RT, 53 MC)
84. Southside with You (Richard Tanne, 91% RT, 74 MC)
85. Louder Than Bombs (Joachim Trier, 72% RT, 70 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
86. The Neon Demon (Nicolas Winding Refn, 57% RT, 51 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
87. All the Way (Jay Roach, 87% RT, 78 MC; streaming on HBO Go)
88. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone, 77% RT, 68 MC)
89. Remember (Atom Egoyan, 71% RT, 52 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
90. Eye in the Sky (Gavin Hood, 95% RT, 73 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
91. Aquarius (Kleber Mendonça Filho, 97% RT, 87 MC; streaming on Netflix)
92. Deepwater Horizon (Peter Berg, 83% RT, 68 MC)
93. Sully (Clint Eastwood, 85% RT, 74 MC)
94. The Club (Pablo Larraín, 87% RT, 73 MC)
95. The Fits (Anna Rose Holmer, 97% RT, 91 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
96. Silence (Martin Scorsese, 83% RT, 79 MC; )
97. The Treasure (Corneliu Porumboiu, 94% RT, 85 MC)
98. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Zack Snyder, 27% RT, 44 MC; streaming on HBO Go)
99. Embrace of the Serpent (Ciro Guerra, 97% RT, 82 MC; streaming on Amazon Prime)
100. X-Men: Apocalypse (Bryan Singer, 48% RT, 52 MC)
101. Suicide Squad (David Ayer, 26% RT, 40 MC)
102. Money Monster (Jodie Foster, 57% RT, 55 MC)
103. The Secret Life of Pets (Yarrow Cheney and Chris Renaud, 74% RT, 61 MC)
104. Aferim! (Radu Jude, 98% RT, 84 MC)
105. High-Rise (Ben Wheatley, 61% RT, 65 MC; streaming on Netflix)
106. Jason Bourne (Paul Greengrass, 56% RT, 58 MC)
107. The Legend of Tarzan (David Yates, 36% RT, 44 MC)
108. Darling (Mickey Keating, 68% RT, 60 MC; streaming on Netflix)

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